I’ve been a Christian now for almost 18 years. It’s been one heck of a road so far. I’ve been to the mountaintop and I’ve hit the deepest valleys. So many times I’ve walked away, yet never quite able to cut the cord, I eventually scramble back, so thankful that He’ll take me. I am ruled by my emotions and they often lead me astray. When your default is to rely on feelings, God starts to feel like a yoyo being dangled over you. Close, then far, close then far, and on and on and on until you feel dizzy and disoriented. It’s exhausting! Many, many years ago when this long, winding and peaked and valleyed road began, a friend – who knew me well – told me to keep Psalm 139 close to my heart always. They said, “Whenever you feel far from God, read it, and remember He didn’t go anywhere. “
It’s really easy to get caught in the vortex of our feelings, believing they’re our only reality. Feelings are important and yours are valid, but they’re not always reflective of truth. So, the next time you start feeling far from God, try what I’ve been doing for almost 2 decades.
O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
WIMM Canada Social Media Manager